Saturday, October 01, 2005

Fill in the Blanks...

Below are comments and quotations overheard during the course of the RDR. Feel free to attempt to identify the person(s) speaking and the situation revolving around the comment.

Pick-up lines...
1. "I've never kissed a bald black man's head before."
2. "I lost my husband."
3. "I like making people cry."
4. 'What's our motto? If you can't say anything nice, come sit by me!"
5. "I would like a beer exactly how I like my men ...Dark"
6. "I'm f*cking wasted."
7. "Are you still here?"
8. "You are one high priced Prince William County Whore."
9. 'I saw your pee pee at least 5 times tonight"
10. "hey Susan, what are you doing?"
"I'm adjusting my party package"
11. "I'll start over here... and you bend over over there."
12. "What are we doing, besides you?"
13. "Boner - I wanna do you tonight."

On hooking up...
14. "I have a problem screwing someone who used to date a friend of mine"
"yeah right."
15. "Did you see your girlfriend?"
"Maybe she was In Cock Nito"
16. "He broke my penis"
17. " I was rode hard and put up wet... I think."
18. "I don't usually hook up at the hash."
19. "They call me a whore when I do what?"
20. 'I've been asked to play with his thing."
21. 'Have you heard? Mellow Foreskin Cheese made out with some chick last night!"
'What is this, an April Fools?"
22. 'They'll be f*cking here in a little bit...just don't get any on you."
23. "Hokie No Pokie showed me his wing-wing."
24. "you should have seen her last night! She had the biggest whore outfit on I've ever seen!"
25. "There are way too many girls here trying way too hard to get laid. Obviously they don't know how to work it."
"I think I'm the only one here that's been to all 12 RDR's and never worked a single one of them!"
26. 'Speaking of ho's, look at that!"

On silk...
27. "Silk feels good on my nipples."
28. "I'm really starting to like how silk feels on my body."

On asses...
29. "It looks like monster took a chunk out of her ass."
30. "He's got an ass to die for"

On hurricanes...
31. "Just say Hurricane Relief. We're wearing red for Hurricane Relief"
32. "I drank so much damn beer, my bladder thought it was a hurricane the last time I took a piss."

On obesity....
33. "Fat ladies wear tent dresses for a reason"
34. "Does this dress make me look fat?"
35. "I'm glad I didn't go home last night with a fat chick."
"She wasn't fat, she was big boned"
'Well,then, I'm glad I didn't go home with a big boned chick"
36. "Ok, I plan on getting fat. Maybe not THAT fat."

On ugliness...
37. "My Cock Shoots Blanks isn't get any prettier - even when he has clothes on."
38. "D*mn, you're even ugly in a dress."
39. "Ass Ogre in women's panties is not pretty."
40. "Wuakasha Hashers are not pretty hashers.It's a factory and beer town.Neither of which is conducive to pretty. but they can drink some beer!"

On personal hygeine...
41. "Ohhh man!!!! I have deodorant whiteness on my red dress. I should have worn my Secret Solid."
42. "I got shiggy on my dress."
43. "He's worried about not shaving his legs..but he's got pink hair."
44. "I think men should start carrying purses."
45. "The scary thing is.. he DID shave his back this morning."
46. "You're dripping boa all over the place."
"Well, I might as well be dripping something."
47. "Is this the line up for the bathroom? Holy Sh*T! I'm glad I don't have to go!"
48. "Look Moron Job - you thought YOU had bad hair!"
49. "Somebody farted. "
I think it's that Schweinkin guy, he always farts."
50. "Are you wearing a diaper?"
51. "Cheeze Wiz really ought to be named Shit's On Trail. She farts like a lumberjack."
52. "Does he know he still has his unibrow?"
53. "I just don't want to be as hairy as the check out Lady at Target."
54. "You may want to shave that.
55. "Bob, nice eye shadow, man"

On homosexuality...
56. "All you have to do is say you're gay and the women flock to you in droves!"
57. "Don't let your man wander too far in that red dress, alone in a big city."
58. "I've never seen so many men weather forecasting in all my life"
59. "There's a place for people like you.. It's called DuPont Circle."
60. 'I'm a sailor, what can I say?"
61. "Hey, people are gonna think you're gay here."
"Your'e not?"

On tourism...
62. "Imagine coming to your honeymoon in DC and seeing this sh*t?"
63. Said to a "civilian" in Georgetown..."Have you seen my friends?"
64. Heard by a 'civilian' in Georgetown "I don't know what fraternity that is but I gotta join!"

On gender roles...
65. "Put a man in a dress and they start forming lines for the bathrooms." unknown harriette at Dremo's
66. "Duck Job has the nicest pair of pregnancy breasts that I've ever seen on a man."
67. "It's not fair when a man looks better in a dress than a woman does."

On running...
68. "Apparently I'm running because I am a dumbass. It sure is hard to run after a couple of beers."
69. "Runners - go that way. (as they head to a check back) Hey Max - you come this way."
70. "35 people hop a fence in a park - all they had to do was run 50 feet and the fence had a gate. Ah beer .. it makes a lot of people stupid."
71. "Are we on? Oh - there are the Hari Krishna's.We're On!"

On white people dancing...
72. "Look at those white people thinking that they can dance. What is this - a ho-down?"
73. "I'm way too white to dance."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hmm... I think that perhaps #18 under Hooking Up, "I don't usually hook up at the hash" could also fall under the Pick Up Lines category...

~Cleo "my last name is not" Papsmear