Monday, October 08, 2007

RDR 2007

If you didn't show up because of last year, you missed out.

RDR is an event.

It was fashion, fun and fabulousness all wrapped up in a shiny shriners club.

There were several from OTH4. Slit Lightning, TBOS, Amber Alert, Waxing Wilbur, Chasing the Beast, 14K, Molly Hatchet, One Pump Chump and Dual Airbags.

We started out at Slit's and Spankers house and walked down the street in our red dress attire to King Street Metro.

And as we should, we attracted alot of attention.

The good, the bad and the ugly was with us.

You try to answer all the questions but then find it's more fun when you leave them guessing. it's fuuny when it's one person all by themselves but a group of crazy attracts attention.

We get on the metro and during the ride Flying Burrito boards the train... in shorts.
He was too scared to walk to the metro in his red dress all by himself. I think if he should have worn his red dress all by himself. People would have made wide berth around him and not bothered him at all. In fact, their thoughts would be something along the lines of, "Look at that crazy mother f*cker."

I know that's what I would have said.

About a month ago we were running at lunch and some crazy dude in a pink tutu came running out of the woods out of no where.

Did we ask him could we help him?


Did we ask him why on God's Pink Earth did he have pink tutu on while running in the woods?


Did we bother to ask him if he was ok, even?

Hell no.

What did we do?

We made a wide berth around him and we said, "'Look at that crazy mother f*cker."

At another stop 14k and his pretty pink panties scared the would be passengers and they ran to another car.

I guess the stitching in his panties screaming for mercy scared them.

So we finally arrive at MacPherson Square and take the walk of doom in a red dresses through the throng of DC's homeless. Talk about feeling like a failure in a red dress - if a homeless guy has the drunken cajones to yell that you're ugly should you take it seriously? How about if he tells you you look better than his momma? Where do you draw the line between homeless reality and reality?

Finally the site of someone else in a red dress!!!

So we sign in and are told to head to P2 which happens to be the Party Party room.

And it's like being led into the Happy House at Fairfax hospital - the 4th floor!

Come On In - we know you here!!

There are piles of people you haven't seen in a long time.

Some people look fabulous and more don't.

Let's take about RDR fashion, shall we?

Did anyone take a good look at Strange Ground Chuck?

He's preggers - I'd lay money on it.

You know who had a fabulous purse?

It was I Love Lucy!

Continental Drip.

He had on a babydoll dress made from material with beer glasses all over it.

I'm betting a big amount of money that Vera Wang was not the designer.

And I'd bet that the designer had a beer, a moon pie, and an RC cola and was living in a house made of tin.

Aunt Flow.

What can you say about a Aunt Flow?

I thought she was hot.

The older I get, a good looking cane makes me randy.

Big Bang.

His 6 oclock shadow hanging out of that dress was inspiring.

And when Coin Operated walked up and screamed, "OHHH, we're wearing the same dress!!" and she had boobs hanging out of hers instead of hair,

I would have to say that she did indeed looked a tad better in that dress.

but only because she had boobs.

If she had hairy boobs hanging out of that dress it would have been a landslide.

But then at some point Big Bang and Aunt Flow swapped dresses and I was hot for Big Bang.

Bad Ditch.

H O T.

New Orleans makes em H O T.

Number 2.

Picture it - Drew Carey with his own Drew Carey glasses and a skimpy red dress.

Goose pimply.

Wanks With Wolves.

that woman has some serious boobs hiding behind a seriously hideous house dress.

I was hearing cow bells every time I neared her.

Makes you ponder whay they call those things Moo Moo's.

Hard Drive.

Lovely hat, and fabulous Espirit hand bag.

but frocky. Very frocky.

So Hot I'll Turn You Gay.

Need I say more?


Big, hairy guys in big, saggy diapers is not as cute as when they were ohh, saaayy 6 months old.

In fact, it was downright scary.

And like a car wreck, I kept slowing down to stare.

And Ass Ogre.

Why on Gods green earth did I think he was wearing underwear? He must have kissed me, and hugged me 5 times and while I was eating my dinner on the steps he waved and his dress rode up and his peepee hung out.

Fantesticly funny.

Virgen Avec Mary.

Very cute black hat and stockings.

She is just cute, cute, cute.


Ever wonder what Hugh Hefner would be doing if he ever got out of those pajamas?

Why poeple would be going up to him and saying he looks just like Phil - parasol, funky Minnie Pearl hat and everything!

Wycked Felina!


She makes 40ish fabulous!

And who could forget the strawberries.

I just wanted to lick them.

All of them.

Lick, lick, lick.

Speaking of licking - I have never seen so much motorboating in all my life! Titly Winks was very good at it. She hoisted up Wanks With Wolves' boobies, got them in the right position and it sounded like an outboard motor in a big, old, tin trash bin!!

Man - she's good at that.

I was jealous.

She would have motorboated me she said but my boobs hadn't seen perky since I was 5.

Apparently she has scruples about who's boobs she's gonna put her face in.



Any man that can wear a wrap around dress without waxing his chest is a man I'll sleep with.


he's a handsome woman, in too short, too tight dress.

Listen 14k, did we not just discuss this Friday night?

Lycra and fat do SO go together like peanut butter and jelly.

You wear it good, guurlll.

Suck Cock for Crack.

I want to run my hands through that thick, dark, hair.

It reminds me Elvis and Wayne Newton all wrapped up in tall, dark and handsome.

Yum. and me.


Full Metal Balls.

Could go running through the streets nakid for all I care. I've seen him naked all my life and I swear, he gets better lookin every time.

And Hows Her Bush.

Ever been to Myrtle Beach?

They have a "Drag Show Theater" and I think he's the main attraction.

Jag Queen.

Some Pepto Bismal bottle is missing it's pepto.

And Boy Toy's dress.

tsk tsk tsk.

Someone's bagpipes are naked.

It was miles of plaid gone bad.

"Plaid Boy, Plaid Boy Whatcha gonna do? Watcha gonna do when the Scotman comes for you?"

Ah yes.

We could go on and on and on.

But who am I, Joan Rivers?


It was fun.

A best dressed contest in the house of the homeless?

What could be funner than 500 people in red dresses in the middle of a city park on a beautiful Saturday afternoon? And we're trying to have a contest?

Idiots really.

But watching idiots IS fun!

That's why I go to work every Monday morning!

We walked by the White House and all the protesters in Lafayette park.

We stopped traffic and posed for pictures for all the tour buses!

We gave head through the iron bars of the stairway at the beer check

(ok, that was only one chick giving head to one fella but it was fun to watch.

Although peni are ugly. Especially one you don't know personally).

I never saw so much beer chugging by women in all my life. It was like a frat party with no frats.
Just bras.

And lots of them.

All over the place - even the men were wearing them.

And motorboating.


At any moment.

I think it's an olympic competition now.

Back at the Shriners the DJ had everyone grooving on the dance floor.


If you can combine fashion and fun so flwalessly then you get fabulousness.

And who knows fablulousness better than WoWo?

no one.

Good job Wowo.

It was FUN!

On On

Dual Airbags

Thanks Everyone

Red Dress Run Weekend was such a success!

From EWH3's Thursday Ball Buster trail, Full Moon's Friday Lingerie Run/Party, the Red Dress Run, of course, and Sunday's WH4,  not one, but two runs to thoroughly finish everyone off. Good times!

Special thanks to Rear End Loader for letting us risk our lives within his construction project, and Motor Mouth for giving me lasting nightmarish images. All of you behind the scenes wankers/suckers that make it all happen, thank you.

- Best Moment: Running through a troop of cheering Boy Scouts on the National Mall with grown men in red dresses, their leaders arms crossed and not smiling.

On On
~ Dial F