Saturday, October 02, 1999

DC RDR 1999 Thanks

I hope that everyone had a terrific time at the Red Dress Run this year. I know I did. But we couldn’t have done it without the help of a lot of people, who graciously gave up their socializing and drinking time to help with the registration process and the beer and water check. If it wasn’t for them, hashers would still be standing in line trying to get in, even with an I.D.!

I would like to thank in particular Steel Trap, Milk Money, Bite Me Elmo, Missed Erections, Eat It Raw, Champagne Charlie, Hurley Gurley Mon, Full Metal Balls, Latin Anal-ist, Holy Tit, Tartwheel, Bonnie Brewer, Great Puck, Kiel Bastard, U.S. Boobs & Oral Report, Shave Me Elmo, Holiday Ho, Fag, Yes, Dear, Rainbow Dick, Great Balls of Fire, Rutro, Late Cummer, Fuzzy Butt, Call Girl, Mellow Foreskin Cheese, Cheese Spread, Oil of Nolay, Wankers Away, Hot Legs, Flouncer, Hans Solo, No Quickies, and Chunky Monkey.

Doing an incredible job of serving beer and water were Cervix With A Smile, Leave It In Beaver, Steers & Queers, Mudpie, Just Brian (McDonald), Drop Box, Just Tim, and Fussy Bitch. And, of course, I’d like to thank my co-MisManagers Harddrive, who unfortunately sprained his ankle on the full mOOn hash the night before and couldn’t run the trail so he stayed behind at Lulu’s and let me do the trail; Blank Check and Big Bird Turd, for making the food and overall experience at Lulu’s absolutely incredible this year; Hasher Humper and Fussy Bitch for getting us such fabulous giveaways; Dual AirBags and Pay Per View for doing a great job with the trail; and Wilburrr for getting the t-shirts designed.

And remember: The 7th Annual DC Area Red Dress Run will be some time in the future!

On On, you wild hashers, On On!
Black Box

MVH3 Scribes

Think party time with nearly 800 of your closest friends. Again this year the DC Area Red Dress Run was hosted at LuLu’s. The fun started when Hard Drive resprained his ankle at the previous night’s Full Moon causing Full Metal Balls to stand in as Hare. Next, this year’s Red Dress Mismanagement was surprised by a new requirement for everyone to show their ID to enter the bar. It’s amazing how many people travel across town and across country with no ID. But work arounds were implemented and everyone successfully registered. After draining five or six kegs before the start, the largest ever (in the world?) red dress pack be grudgingly departed for P St Beach, a local gay sunbathing hangout, for Father Abraham. It took ½ an hour to get the pack to the start, a mere five blocks from the restaurant.

Once underway, though, the pack was its usual traffic-stopping self. As we hashed through the city the trail first headed to the Watergate and the Kennedy Center. There, traffic backed up for almost a mile (all the way to the Lincoln Memorial!) as folks stopped to gape at the pack. Then, at the Lincoln Memorial, we disrupted an official gathering of the Libertarian Party--when asked over the loudspeaker system what we were running for, the resounding answer "BEER!" rang forth. Past the world’s largest phallic symbol (the Washington Monument) and on to the beer stop.

The Hares were surprised to turn around and see the pack only ½ block from them and closing fast as they entered the beer stop. Ahh, the joys of live trail setting! Another five kegs and 200 gallons of H2O were consumed at the beer stop. With that many people standing around in red dresses, it looked like we were all extras getting ready for some scene in a Felini film. The hares left again to restart trail, but the pack stayed on drinking, always drinking.

Finally, we walked/ran/stumbled to the Smithsonian and a ride on the metro. All except the two young harriettes who talked the police (intent on busting the brew crew for invading federal property) to give them a ride in the cruiser back to LuLu’s. The civilians on the metro train didn’t know whether to laugh or avoid our eyes.

And finally, after passing an ABC film crew (yes, we were on the nightly news), it was back to Lulu's and more beer and debauchery--another successful Red Dress Run! At the finish, the crowd finished off nearly 866 chicken halves and vats of potato salad and baked beans. Another 30 kegs of beer were consumed, making a total of 40 kegs for the day, as the crowd danced the night away to the sounds of music spun by LuLu’s DJ.

The dancing was momentarily interrupted by the Circle, where the Hares, Best Dressed Male and Female, and representatives from each of 65 Hashes from around the world, who sang "The Roof" in perfect harmony, all drank. Events wound down with Harrisbug/Hershey H3 flag being returned by WH4 Hash as the H5 hashers bowed in total subservience in order to reclaim ownership of their flag. Finally, "Swing Low" was sung and the hashers returned to their beer, food, and music, and "went in peace" to do their collective best to "get a piece!"

And remember: The 7th Annual DC Area Red Dress Run will be some time in the future!

On On, you wild hashers, On On!
Roto and Blank Check

DCH4 Scribe

What gets bigger every year? Among other things the Red Dress run. I heard numbers between 700 and 800 for registrants when all was said and done. The organizers are probably gone off to the rest home in the sky after this one. They really did an incredible job trying to accommodate everyone and everything and handle several last minute surprises. The biggest being that Lu Lu's decided they needed to card everyone as they went in. A significant number of Hashers did not bring ID since when was the last time most of us had to prove we were over 21?

Some were able to borrow somebody else's ID. Bobbie Hansen did us all proud when she just blended in with the crowd at the door and sneaked in. Seems some kid recently got a flight to St. Louis that way. Pre run beer was hard to get when they went down to one beer stand. I was with the die hards waiting for a beer before going out to join the circle. Of course we had to chug it before they would let us out the door. Even Elephant Dick from Rumson could not sneak one by the bouncer.

On the way to the circle several Hashers stopped at the fire station to be photographed with the big red truck. The circle was appropriately held at P St beach where the locals were not deterred by the onslaught and continued to bake their Nubian bodies in the sun. I did have the hardest time recognizing some Hashers in their dresses. Thought Stiff One was an attractive brunette until he started to speak and then I noticed the beard. Prefer getting kissed by Stiff One in a day old stubble than an attractive brunette anyway. Then we were off through West End to the Kennedy Center to the Lincoln Memorial.

By the time we got to the Lincoln Memorial we had perfected a non-violent technique for stopping traffic (critical mass). Thus the police pretty much left us alone, unlike the Full Moon Hash the previous night when the walkers were threatened with arrest by the Alexandria Police. The best part was going by the Lincoln Memorial. The Christian Coalition was in town, and, well it would be a shame to let that one go by. There was this cowboy on the loudspeaker, droning on and on about statistics. I do not believe anyone really cared, but then a more opportunistic guy got on the loudspeaker and said the equivalent of:
"Now we've been talking about the need to vote. I want you to look out there at those 700 people running in red dresses. (Hoots and howls from the Hashers.) They are a running group that come here to wear red dresses and drink beer for the weekend. Folks, if that an't freedom I don't know what is!" 
We ended up at a previously used lot off 14th Street for the beer check. There was abundant water and beer, and good opportunities to network. Spent time talking with Roto Rooter who recently moved out to western by Gawd Virginia thinking nobody out there knew beans about hashing. Wasn't he surprised when his neighbor across the road yelled "On On" and asked if he knew Flat Ass. Then there was this tall bearded man who seemed to know I was DCH4--damn that was Tore Ass in his retirement vestments. We stood around waiting for kraM and Come Again to show but alas they blew us off. From there it was pretty much a straight shot back to the Mall and a Metro Ride to Foggy bottom.

I don't know if the trail from Foggy Bottom went any place other than the On On--everyone headed that way knowing where there was beer. In true Hash fashion my objective was beer, food then beer. Worked too. Spent some time catching up with Hashers from near and far. Goofy challenged me to see who could get his/her shirt off quicker (alas I declined citing a need for support garments)...a good time was had by all.

Flat Ass