Saturday, October 02, 1999

DCH4 Scribe

What gets bigger every year? Among other things the Red Dress run. I heard numbers between 700 and 800 for registrants when all was said and done. The organizers are probably gone off to the rest home in the sky after this one. They really did an incredible job trying to accommodate everyone and everything and handle several last minute surprises. The biggest being that Lu Lu's decided they needed to card everyone as they went in. A significant number of Hashers did not bring ID since when was the last time most of us had to prove we were over 21?

Some were able to borrow somebody else's ID. Bobbie Hansen did us all proud when she just blended in with the crowd at the door and sneaked in. Seems some kid recently got a flight to St. Louis that way. Pre run beer was hard to get when they went down to one beer stand. I was with the die hards waiting for a beer before going out to join the circle. Of course we had to chug it before they would let us out the door. Even Elephant Dick from Rumson could not sneak one by the bouncer.

On the way to the circle several Hashers stopped at the fire station to be photographed with the big red truck. The circle was appropriately held at P St beach where the locals were not deterred by the onslaught and continued to bake their Nubian bodies in the sun. I did have the hardest time recognizing some Hashers in their dresses. Thought Stiff One was an attractive brunette until he started to speak and then I noticed the beard. Prefer getting kissed by Stiff One in a day old stubble than an attractive brunette anyway. Then we were off through West End to the Kennedy Center to the Lincoln Memorial.

By the time we got to the Lincoln Memorial we had perfected a non-violent technique for stopping traffic (critical mass). Thus the police pretty much left us alone, unlike the Full Moon Hash the previous night when the walkers were threatened with arrest by the Alexandria Police. The best part was going by the Lincoln Memorial. The Christian Coalition was in town, and, well it would be a shame to let that one go by. There was this cowboy on the loudspeaker, droning on and on about statistics. I do not believe anyone really cared, but then a more opportunistic guy got on the loudspeaker and said the equivalent of:
"Now we've been talking about the need to vote. I want you to look out there at those 700 people running in red dresses. (Hoots and howls from the Hashers.) They are a running group that come here to wear red dresses and drink beer for the weekend. Folks, if that an't freedom I don't know what is!" 
We ended up at a previously used lot off 14th Street for the beer check. There was abundant water and beer, and good opportunities to network. Spent time talking with Roto Rooter who recently moved out to western by Gawd Virginia thinking nobody out there knew beans about hashing. Wasn't he surprised when his neighbor across the road yelled "On On" and asked if he knew Flat Ass. Then there was this tall bearded man who seemed to know I was DCH4--damn that was Tore Ass in his retirement vestments. We stood around waiting for kraM and Come Again to show but alas they blew us off. From there it was pretty much a straight shot back to the Mall and a Metro Ride to Foggy bottom.

I don't know if the trail from Foggy Bottom went any place other than the On On--everyone headed that way knowing where there was beer. In true Hash fashion my objective was beer, food then beer. Worked too. Spent some time catching up with Hashers from near and far. Goofy challenged me to see who could get his/her shirt off quicker (alas I declined citing a need for support garments)...a good time was had by all.

Flat Ass

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