Saturday, October 07, 2006

Trail Shenanigans

At the start of the trail, Monday Sticky Monday was seen paying off a few hashers so that they wouldn’t catch the hares. Come on! What’s wrong with getting de-pantsed??!! Apparently, one co-hare, Blowup Dalai Nada, was nowhere to be found. And the other, Obeastiologist, peed in his own pants in anticipation of laying trail. After doing that, his pants needed to be removed! Of course, we have heard that he wants to be EWH3’s hare razor next year. Hmmm....aren't we a trifle scared at that prospect?

WOWO reached the pinnacle (or is it rock bottom?) of his public speaking duties by climbing atop a dumpster to address the masses. For RDR 2006, there were three trails to choose from – one runner’s trail and two walker’s trails. One walker’s trail was slightly unofficial, though.

Pullz It Out led a bar crawl for those that wanted to stay within 3 blocks of the start. While we admire these wankers for not wanting to go so long without the beverage of choice, we have to wonder why they would go to a gay bar in red dresses to pay for beer when they could have been enjoying free beer at the beer check.

Of course, some of it may be excused by physical limitations. Iron Maiden only made it a half a block from the start before she started to complain that her stilettos were hurting her feet. Now, we are all hashers and we all know that trail will be longer than half a block. Could she not have been slightly more prepared for trail?

Golden Showers did a good job of warding off the gay guys on the bar crawl by growling at them and sticking his devilish pitchfork in their faces. We're pretty sure that wasn’t the stick that they were expecting to be stuck in their faces. Oh well…sorry guys!

Meanwhile, on the official runners’ trail, Beaver Whack was seen smoking a cigar throughout the entire trail. If she’s going to be sucking on something that big, and she calls herself a hasher, shouldn’t it be someone’s cock?

Also seen on the runners’ trail was RoadKill and Haystack picking up about 20 high school girls out in front of the White House. Need we remind you that Bill Clinton is no longer in the White House and hitting on young girls out front is probably frowned upon by the current administration?

After the beer check, Bloody A$$hole was seen hopping in a cab. As he is usually an FRB, people were understandably confused and began to wonder if he auto-hashed every trail to be an FRB. It turns out that he actually took the cab to Fuddruckers to get a burger and made the cabby wait while he got his grub. Didn’t he know that RDR Mismanagement had arranged for some tasty treats back at the bar?

Somewhere along the second half of the trail, Wookin Pa Nub was seen having sex on trail with Runs With Bulls. It seems that Nub got really drunk (SURPRISE!) and thought that RWB was a chick because he was wearing a dress. As usual, RWB went along with it because he is such an attention-wh*re.

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